Hotness

Last time I spoke about him..I was telling you how much I kinda like him….Will I do and I can’t get him out of my mind. Littlle things would remind me of him. Idk why I can’t just move on…like wtf.
What kills me the most is I have a feeling that he kinda liked me too…but I will never know. Why won’t he ask me out??? Isn’t that what guys do when they like someone…shit!!! Like I think I would do just about anything to be with him…ugh

Will I ever find love?????
I just wanna be with him so bad…

Started my work out today thinks to William (my lil bro/ co worker)…I kinda feel it in my shoulder only but I have a feeling tomorrow morning when I wake up…That shit is gonna hurt….But I’m not gonna gove up. I need to motivate myself to do this…I know I can get into a two piece by the end of June!!! #Let Go!!!

Did a 1 hour Workout…Plan to do it again in the am…

These are just some of the many things I want to accomplish…Trust me this may change!!!

Short Term:

• Get anothet Tattoo
• Lose 10-15 pounds (If I could lose more even BETTER)
• Get my License my the end of April ( if not by the YEAR)
• Save atleast $500 dollars in my APPLE BANK ACCOUNT
• Get a Mac or IPad by the end of the Year

Long Term Goals:

• Get a CAR
• Move out my MOM’s HOUSE by the time I’m 23(maybe by the time I’m 25)

Hopefully with Prayer and FAITH I can make this happen!!!

So after the fight with my Mom, I decided to leave. Don’t worry I didn”t move out I just needed to get away. My life was threatened by her and I didn’t like it. I went to stay with Tatie Gessie for about a moth in half. Things were ok there…..it was alot less stressful but eventually I had to come back home:-(

After being a Nigga in Paris and London, I decided to come back home, but ofcourse she can’t(my mom) let shit go…like wtf you put your hands on me I should be pissed not the other way around…but watever I’m home trying my hardest.

I don’t wanna fight with her no more….I just wanna live here for as long as I need to and get the FUCK OUT!!!! I WILL NEVER FORGET the FIGHT will had and the THINGS SHE SAID!!!! they truly HURT me. So from now on imma treat her the way she treats me and thats that.

Got into a huge ass fight with my Mother…Tumblr it was bad….like we was about throw hands….its crazy….I never wanted to fight like this…idk how it got like this….she just started hittin me and I lost it… Ofcourse it all went down when she started talking shit about my dad…she knows that’sensitive topic and I feel like she wants me to hate him abd I cant his my dad why would I…

I’m no Mother Teresa. But boy am I loving God! I love the fact that he has my back. I pray for alot of things and sometimes I may get it and sometimes I don’t. Put itsalways great to know that he is listening. So I know I don’t say this often but thanks God for always having my back.

Don’t even no where to begin…I always thought my Dad just left because my mom is not the best person to live with…but today I found out how much words can HURT!!! My mother has no filter for her mouth she says whatever she wants not realizing how much it hurts and she doesn’t even realize. Its so hard for me to write this…I honestly wish to never become like her…Why couldn’t she have a miscarriage. Better yet why was there no condom…I feel like I am worth nothing…That’s what my mother has done to me…She took away someone that I love with all my heart..Don’t get me wrong I love her as well but my Daddy…I need him and her fucking mouth came between us…He left ME because she likes to FUCKING hurt people. What kind of person says such things to someone that loves their kid. Such allegations could put someone in jail hurt their reputations.

What my dad has told me makes me want to hate my mother soooooo fuking much…But I guess I can’t…She is my MOTHER and respect is necessary so I guess I will respect but never forgive her. Its sad because she doesn’t know how to love…she’s been hurt so much and I’m afraid that, that will rub off on me…And I wanna love soo bad.

Sooo I had dinner with my best friend Amanda on Saturday and overall it was a pretty good dinner..I think I was the only one that finished my food. OO before I forget her boyfriend Ash and her OTHER best friend was there…yea. I mean we all really clicked which is cool but now she’s planning a vacation??? Omg hope everything goes well. Idk I don’t really like change but I guess I except it for what it is…I just hope that Amanda and I can stay friends forever because I really do value her friendship.

Super Excited!!!! I’m GOING TO LONDON AND FRANCE!!!!!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHH I’m soooooo flipping excited. Going with my Sisters(Taina and Evy) and Paul(who I have yet to meet) but Its gonna be a trip of a lifetime. God willing ofcourse!! OOo man I am so glad I got this opportunity. God is Good!!!!